Teaching tales, tall and true.

28/09/06 The day ended before it began. Second lesson the deputy came into my room and told me that A was walking around hitting things with a table leg he had pulled off. I walk through to find him banging chairs and walls with this 3 foot long metal table leg. Metal leg+angry young man=brain damaged tutor. We managed to clear the other students out of the unit so as to deprive the oxygen of an audience then proceeded to try and talk him down. He wasn't so much being dangerous but had the potential to do great damage if we tried to physically stop him. After much talk a first aid kit appeared and was handed to him. This seemed to break the moment as he placed it and the leg on the table and started to rummage through the box (passing over the scissors I was releaved to see!) At this moment I approached him and got involved in his doctors and nurses game. When we were both fully into our 'roles', I gently moved the table leg away then whisked it upstairs to the office and hid it under my desk. Panic over.

It was then felt that the atmosphere was too volatile to continue so we faked a call from council central office saying we needed to send to members of staff up there as there had been some emergency! We told them we needed to close the unit and they could all go home. They bought it (mostly) and went off to explore the limits of their ASBOs.

Nobody was hurt, we all left on good terms. Result.

 02/10/06  Unit closed today. Bomb scare! Taken very seriously by the police who arrived with several cars and sealed off the road. Then to everyone's horror/amusement the sniffer dogs arrived and, well... sniffed for a bomb. No such device was found but all the Keyskills folders were destroyed in a controlled explosion. If only.
It seems an arrest has been made. The sinister bomber was not 'fit for purpose' and did not block their telephone number when issuing the threat. Back to the Afghanistan training camp for you my boy. 

17/10/06 Crazy day today. General atmosphere of excitability and chaos. Not ideal. Two main events. Firstly one student, ‘the most dangerous and unpredictable kid in the service’ finally showed his cards by completely losing his rag and smashing my classroom door off its hinges! He was convinced some other lads were laughing at him and went from joking around with myself and another member of staff to throwing chairs and smashing the door. I persuaded him to go outside for a fag (usual fall-back position in times of crisis). He went down and eventually calmed down, finally taking on board the explanation that the lads were not laughing at him but a teacher.

At the end of the day we had a full blown temper tantrum that would not have been out of place in the sweetie isle at TESCOs. Young lad wanted a taxi home but it was denied. He tried again and again but we kept on saying that he had a bus pass and that he had managed to get into and home from school no problem before today. No. He kicks off, karate kicking the wheelie bin, running in and out of the building, swearing at anyone that he meets and generally acting lick a little twit. At one point he even ran down the road and kicked over some traffic cones and a ‘Road Closed’ sign. The work men looked at him as if he was a total nutter. ‘It’s okay mate, he’s with me!’

 18/10/06 Very quiet today, not too surprising given yesterday’s antics.  A couple of the boys are in court today for various crimes and misdemeanors so it was always going to be a few light. In the end we only got two in. Both worked pretty well and as a result not much of note happened. We were meant to be  going to the fire station to do a road traffic safety session but due to the small numbers it was cancelled. Shame.

19/10/06 The taxi boys were back today but had all calmed down as if nothing had ever happened. The lad who was excluded for 10 days following the incident with the table leg was also back! He was a handful again, snapping coat hangers (don’t ask), talking fire extinguishers out and finally pulling the door off the I.T. room. This led to fun and games later when I managed to get myself locked in the I.T. room with a new student who had come to us straight from H.M.P. (aggravated burglary). The connecting bolt between the inside handle (intact) and the outside handle (removed) had gone astray and as a result the handle was no longer fit for purpose. Fortunately I managed to discreetly attract the attention of a colleague who released me with a soup spoon.

20/10/06 Only one lad in today so I got him to glue the legs onto the tables. The ones we were all worried might be used as weapons again. We used some kind of epoxy space shuttle glue that came in a double syringe and needed to be mixed. Hard core. He moaned and cussed but actually quite enjoyed the one to one time. It is good to do non-classroom stuff. In carrying out this activity and subsequently talking it through with another member of staff, this lad got two level 1 qualifications in one go.

It is the last day before we break up for half term. A feeling of quiet unease fills the unit. It is calm, but there is a storm coming…

28/11/06 Today I was chatting with a boy who blurted out this story about how he found 6 grand in a phone box. He explained that his mum was loosing the plot because they had no money and had made a loaf of bread last a week. He went out to see what he could do (presumably a touch) and there it was, sitting in a phone box, £6000! Gypsy money he said. "Did you ever think of taking it to the police?" I ventured, more in hope than in expectation, "F**k that!" he replied, "We went straight into town and bought one of those f**k-off big plasma screen TVs!" And presumably a fresh loaf of bread.