The last few weeks have been hard ones for me (and my family). I have been off work for over 8 weeks with depression. In that time I have been on three different types of anti-depressant, none of which have made any kind of dent into the gloom. Coming off my last drug and starting my new one has been a nightmare. I had proper Trainspotting style cold turkey; sweats, shivering, headache, violent mood swings and even some minor visual hallucinations1. It felt like you could have popped my head with a pin.
That is all behind me now as the new drug, Mirtazapine2 begins to take over in my brain. This drug affects the levels of Serotonin like Prozac3 but also Noradrenaline, a neurotransmitter similar to adrenaline ans involved in control of blood pressure and heart rate along with other things. The thing is nobody really understands how altering the levels of these neuro-transmitters can improve depression. The thing is clinical trials show they do 4.
Besides these chemical interventions, lifestyle changes are said to help, no-brainer if you have reactive depression5. The time off work is definitely helping, reduced stress and has given me crucial breathing space. Before being signed off I was starting to have fantasies about/plan minor to moderately serious accidents for myself to get me off work. I would spend quite a bit off time thinking about how I could get run over by a car and guaranteeing just a broken leg and nothing worse. Fortunately I have never been low enough to plan my suicide, I thought about it, but never anything more.
1 Not quite Renton's baby on the ceiling horror of Trainspotting but disconcerting none the less!
2 I have Christened this one Marzipan. Bit of a game in my family what with me being on so many different types of anti-depressants. Started out as a way of not letting the kids know. Citalopram some how became 'psych-nut-trolley'. We do a similar thing with biscuits, perhaps I'll post on this at a later date.
3 Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel worth a read if you like mis-lit. While I am recommending books I really enjoyed Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad,
4 Haven't checked but then that's why we pay Doctors. Free at the point of use but we all still pay
5 reactive depression is succinctly summed up in the witty bumper stickers or posters you see in offices i.e. "Shit happens..."I'm not sure what I've got. Bit of a history in the family. My great gran on mum's side though the man on the TV could see up her skirt!
That is all behind me now as the new drug, Mirtazapine2 begins to take over in my brain. This drug affects the levels of Serotonin like Prozac3 but also Noradrenaline, a neurotransmitter similar to adrenaline ans involved in control of blood pressure and heart rate along with other things. The thing is nobody really understands how altering the levels of these neuro-transmitters can improve depression. The thing is clinical trials show they do 4.
Besides these chemical interventions, lifestyle changes are said to help, no-brainer if you have reactive depression5. The time off work is definitely helping, reduced stress and has given me crucial breathing space. Before being signed off I was starting to have fantasies about/plan minor to moderately serious accidents for myself to get me off work. I would spend quite a bit off time thinking about how I could get run over by a car and guaranteeing just a broken leg and nothing worse. Fortunately I have never been low enough to plan my suicide, I thought about it, but never anything more.
1 Not quite Renton's baby on the ceiling horror of Trainspotting but disconcerting none the less!
2 I have Christened this one Marzipan. Bit of a game in my family what with me being on so many different types of anti-depressants. Started out as a way of not letting the kids know. Citalopram some how became 'psych-nut-trolley'. We do a similar thing with biscuits, perhaps I'll post on this at a later date.
3 Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel worth a read if you like mis-lit. While I am recommending books I really enjoyed Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad,
4 Haven't checked but then that's why we pay Doctors. Free at the point of use but we all still pay
5 reactive depression is succinctly summed up in the witty bumper stickers or posters you see in offices i.e. "Shit happens..."I'm not sure what I've got. Bit of a history in the family. My great gran on mum's side though the man on the TV could see up her skirt!
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